Effort

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    Poem Commentary

    Poem 1 - This is the first assignment for RHPeat's poetry class on the OP.forums.

    Effort
    If it's true our days are numbered,
    If it's true that they are few,
    Live by guilt unencumbered,
    To yourself you must hold true.


    Like autumn leaves confronting frost,
    Clinging is a futile chore,
    Best before the struggle's lost,
    To let your vivid colors roar.


    Our lives, as well, are so restricted,
    Just a drop in seas of time.
    Don't by custom be constricted,
    Reach instead for the sublime.


    If your end by fate is driven,
    If your end you can't contest,
    Make sure your full effort's given,
    Be certain you have tried your best.

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    Springsize commented on Effort

    10-07-2010

    Hello, gmcookie... I have just found 7 of your OP School of Poetry RHPeat homework assignments... and I am here to critique, as best I can... And of course, I have also read the comments, and with your poem's FORM in mind... I acknowledge that you did attempt an anaphora, in that your first two lines [in both the 1st and last verse] begin with the same exact words.... so I believe you caught the intent of the assignment... and my experience with this repetition phrase... it can either bore me to tears in a poem... or it can hammer a poet's thought so that I know it is the major key of the poem's intended meaning... ok, going on... assignment was 16-20 lines, using 2 verses... and although your lines count to 16... the form requirement is 2, not 4 verses.... and of the 2 verses, we were to illustrate a comparison... so perhaps you could work on this assignment more... I wrote 4 separate poems for assignment 1 and still want to re-do this one...
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    Teardrops commented on Effort

    07-15-2010

    I love this poem has all the bells . It really a great write thanks for the read Marie
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    rsalassi commented on Effort

    07-15-2010

    Laertes, wake up! Pay attention! Didn't you hear a single word your old papa has just said? Good write, gm.
    Reply to Comment

    Tempy commented on Effort

    07-14-2010

    nicely written, the flow was always perfectly rounded. A+ from me
    Reply to Comment

    If I feel physically as if the top of my head were taken off, I know that is poetry.

    Emily Dickinson (1830-1886) American poet.

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